As are all first time moms, I am new to being a mommy. Things happen with my daughter that I think I understand, that I have read about, that I am pretty sure I know about, but not really. I have the disadvantage of not living around anyone I can communicate with in my first language about mommy stuff. My friends and family are just one international phone call away, but somehow it is not the same. I often think back to our gathering in Arlington and with all the people who had kids before us, how I feel all my questions would be answered if I was there. I also wish I could be around my sister and her kids, so I could see what was "normal," so I did not assume that AB was either a genius or behind all of the time. I read every book I was sent on pregnancy and motherhood, but in the end they are just references to me. They do not replace the interactions that we are missing out on.
Anyways, to my point. AB has been crying a lot. Since she was about 2 months old, AB has been such a trooper when it came to nap time. I just swaddled her in her blanket, turned on the AC, turned on the air purifier, closed the curtains, and kissed her on the cheek. She was usually out cold in a couple of minutes. Not recently though. She has been crawling all over her bed, crying big tears. In the beginning it was so strange for her to cry that I felt something must be wrong. I just picked her up and she immediately feel a sleep. She was wanting to be held. As we traveled with my parents I thought she was crying because she was in a strange place. Holding her was the only way to get her to sleep. When we came back home I decided that I was going to start mommy bootcamp and work to get AB back to the wonderful sleep pattern we were in before. It did not work. After the exhaustion of the trip wore off AB refused to sleep. Once again the only way my daughter would sleep was in my arms.
On Saturday I noticed that two little teeth were starting to poke through her gums. I thought, "oh those must hurt a little." I gave her a cold teething ring and did not think about it anymore. Last night, after AB did not sleep even one wink the entire day, I called my sister. I told her the situation, and the first thing she asked was, "is she teething?" I immediately felt stupid and mean. My little girl was in pain. That is why she could not sleep. This morning I gave her some Tylenol about 20 minutes before her nap. When I put her down, she did not make a peep. I thought there was no way that her teeth could hurt that bad. I gave her a little more before her next nap, not a peep. I skipped giving her more for her third nap to see if she actually needed it that often, not a peep. Then tonight when she when down for the evening I gave her some more, not a peep. Oh the guilt I have had today! My baby was in pain, and since I had not given her Tylenol, the only source of comfort was me holding her...and I withheld that from her too! No wonder she did not take a nap for an entire day.
I wish I was around mothers all of the time. I also wish I had not waited so many days to ask someone what to do.
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